So.. twice in one week… I hope everyone is excited! :) I pretty much am!!
Seriously… so… It’s been what? Maybe 4 days since I last posted?? Yeah… I think so!
Here’s the deal… God is GOOD!!!! Understand what I mean when I say Good?? I don’t think so!! Good, is good! There is no bad! Good, is delightful! Good, is a blessing! Good, is comforting!! Good, is our God!!
Read these lyrics slowly, take them in, allow the truth to be revealed that they are! If you haven’t heard it or listened to it in a while… put it on!!
Forever Reign- Hillsong- Beautiful Exchange Album
You are Good, You are good when there’s nothing good in me
You are love, You are love on display for all to see
You are light, You are light when the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope, you have covered all my sin
You are peace, You are peace when my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true even in my wandering
You are joy, You are joy you’re the reason that I sing
You are life, You are life, in you death has lost it’s sting
I’m running to you arms, I’m running to your arms, the riches of your love, will always be enough, nothing compares to your embrace, light of the world forever reign!!
You are more, You are more than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord all creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here in your presence I’m made whole
You are God, You are God of all else I’m letting go!
My heart will sing, no other name, Jesus, Jesus!
My heart WILL sing, NO OTHER NAME!! Jesus, JESUS!!!!!’
This is the song that I’m singing as I’m heading to bed tonight… Our God is GOOD!!! I love how that’s the first very first line to describe Him! It blows my mind thinking that SAME word, he used to first describe us! We were GOOD! He delighted in us!!
SERIOUSLY!!! Oh my gosh… I want to post the lyrics to a new song because some of the lyrics were all I could say after the events that have occurred hourly the past few days!! BUT… I can’t!! Just know that this new album is going to be REDICULOUS!!! :) Recording is in 3 weeks… and I can’t WAIT!!!!
This is gonna be another long one and my roommate has got to hate me right now… and I have to say is what goes around comes around... haha!! As she’s sleeping right now… and I’m up typing away!
ANYWAYS!! So… After I posted my blog… and seriously sitting with God and feeling some peace about all that’s taking place… I feel back into my pit!! I seriously was depressed!! I could barely hold it together when people asked me how I was… I’ve come to realize now.. which took some breaking of pride too, for me to realize the devil was totally taking hold of my emotions!! I’d totally let him control how I thought and how I felt about everything!! I hated admitting to myself that I’d actually let the devil in more than God at that point! I was letting the devil win! BLUH!! It makes me sick to think about it!! I realized it Sunday morning, after EARLY church, serving in choir and sitting in for the sermon! I had to take back what was rightfully mine!! I have to claim the joy I know I have and tell the devil to back off, I have to constantly be praying and asking God to step in and help because I can’t fend the devil off through my own strength! I’m a fool to think I actually intimidate the devil… It’s God in me, and the power HE’S given me to call on His name and call him down that makes the devil want to flee, nothing of my own! It was what the entire sermon was about!! Take captive your thoughts and use the tools that have been given to you!! Prayer being one of the biggest!!
Oh my gosh… so seriously!! AGHHHHHHH!!!! I just want to give you all the details! But out of respect for your time… I’m try and consolidate!! ANYWAYS!! Friday, and Saturday… I was a mess!! Come Saturday night… I had it out with God in a way I haven’t, ever, I don’t think!! I was so distressed and the job was the first thing, because it was hitting more so on why I’m even here in the first place!! If I don’t feel like I have a purpose here, are you’re not providing the way for me to stay… WHAT AM I DOING HERE???????? Come to realize… thanks to the wisdom of my wonderful parents, who have been at similar places like this before… God’s doing some hardcore gardening in my lot! Not tripping… but pulling up the weeds by the roots… which are DEEP in this soil!! He doesn’t want the roots to choke out the fruit… so he’s getting them out!! OH MY GOSH… it hurts like nothing else!! But he’s ridding me of what’s left of me!! He’s shaping me for his purpose!! And after realizing prayer is a conversation… and it’s conversation doesn’t happen one way, and He WANTS to talk to me, about the things I’m praying for!! I’ve begun to let him again!! I had this overwhelming peace Sunday after spending Saturday night on my bathroom floor pouring my heart and frustration out to God, allowing him to pour into me and come meet me Sunday morning through worship, his word, and through prayer with my family (I don’t know what I do without skype!). I was so at peace yesterday and confident in the fact that I HAVE joy, all the time, it’s just a choice I have to make daily!! I just have to RENEW my mind daily and remember that!! It’s training that takes place, and filling yourself with the word helps that process!!
Ya’ll… seriously!! I really, literally can’t begin to cover what God’s spoken to me the past few days… I decided to accept the challenge that’s before me, and not let the devil even begin to think he’s come close to a victory! I’ve come to realize, I am just like the Jews and Israelites of the bible! I was reading in Exodus 14:10-14 today… and realized I’m JUST like them!! They wondered WHY God had taken them out of Egypt if he was just going to abandon them- parallel- God brought me all the way to Australia… I began to question WHY and should I just go back?? They asked and said the same thing!! Should they just return, they hadn’t want to leave in the first place! Just read it and see what happens!! They’re reassured… as the Egyptians are coming to kill them and take them back as slaves- parallel- the devil always on the quest to destroy the children of God, manipulating how they perceive themselves, their circumstances and feed them lies. They panic because they see what they think is about to take place, but Moses reassures them, God’s going to FIGHT for them!! And what does he do next??? HE PARTS THE RED SEA!!! Could they possibly have seen that coming?!?! Not a chance… We CAN’T see what God has planned, but we can TRUST that it is GOOD!! The way he first intended ALL things to be!! The world was first GOOD, we were first GOOD!!! God has every intention to bring us back to the goodness He originally created us in… HENCE! Him sending His son to restore us back to goodness, and a place without sin!! OH WOW!! Seriously… It’s been incredible!! God just kept putting scripture after scripture in my heart, reminding me of how it ALL ties together!! He’s AWARE!! He remembers His promises!! He WANTS to fulfill His promises… we have to choose to let him by relinquishing control to Him!!
OH MY JESUS!!!! You are AMAZING!!! I so wish I could talk to you all… because I think we’re all quicker listeners than we are readers… and I’d rather talk to you anyways!! Just pretend I’m telling you all of this at in our voice lesson, the church hallway, the wal-mart parking lot; WHEVER it is I would run into you and tell you this, or sit with you on a comfortable couch and chat!! :)
GOD IS GOOD!!! He provides and loves and sees and remembers and knows!!
Anyways… after having this whole revelation that God is GOOD, and all aspects about Him are deserving of my praise. In my circumstances and doubts and confusion and fears, HE IS GOD!!!!! HE IS GOOD!!!!! HE IS WORTHY!!! I need NO other reason, NO more provision, NO more good circumstances to understand the truth of the matter is, He deserves all of my attention and all of my praise, ALWAYS!! So what does God do?? He blesses me!! Because he loves me, and that’s His hearts desire!! To bless those who bless him, I’m going to bed tonight having received and envelope slid under my flat door, with nothing more than my name written in it, containing $400! God is GOOD!!! If I never have another dollar to my name, never again have a roof over my head, our God REIGNS and He is GOODNESS!!!!! I’m beyond blessed and amazed and humbled!! He really does care, and he really does hear, and always ALWAYS provides!! Just not always as we expect or ask Him to!!
Yep… that’s my story for now!! I love you all so much!! Miss you TONS!!!! Know that I’m praying for you all!!