Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Friday, July 27, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Monday, March 5, 2012
So, it’s officially been more than a month since I’ve been gone!! CRAZY!!! It feels like I never left here, and doesn’t feel like I could have been home for six months because how long I was there was too short for it to be six months!!! So weird!! How so many things actually change, but it feels like nothing has!! :)
Anyways… life is good here! Colour Conference is in a WEEK!!!! AGH!!! I get to attend which I’m very pumped for!! Max’s mom gets in Friday, the 9th, and she and I are getting the privilege of going to the women’s conference together, where Beth Moore and Priscilla Shirer will be the key speakers!! :) The power of women in unity… things can happen, and circumstances can change, and lives can be moved, and women can know love for the first time, the earth can actually shake… OH the possibilities!! It’s going to be great, so excited and expectant!!
Max and I are going to have a GREAT visit with her, and I know God’s going to move and refresh both of us at conference!!! It’s absolutely, 100% the BEST thing ever to have family come visit I’ve decided. This is Ms. Mem’s second trip over here, and I think I’m more excited this time than I was last time, because I now know how wonderful it is to have family come visit, and experience and share in this life we have here, and it’s just getting to see family. It’s great!! I can’t WAIT!! Max is beside him self with excitement!! He hasn’t seen her in about 7 months, so it’ll be a sweet reunion! :)
Life is keeping me on my toes. It’s definitely a different experience not doing college and just working and serving… but I’m enjoying it. Prayer request- I need a new job. I LOVE E-Sprit and the people I work with, and was beyond blessed to be able to come back to an immediate start there, but I’m not getting the hours I need, and when all I’m doing is working for the moment, I’m a little bit out of ideas on what to do with my time, and how to NOT spend money doing those things. I can’t wait to get my jewelry stuff to me, but for now… I’m out of options, and would love a set schedule and expected income. So PLEASE be praying for me on that end, as I am praying and looking.
So, I’m living in a new place, with 3 incredible girls. Seriously… I couldn’t be more blessed. It’s like I’ve known them my whole lives!! Susie is Austrian, Thea is Swiss, and Selena is Australian, and it’s the best roommate/living situation I’ve ever had. It was my birthday this past weekend and they couldn’t have made me feel more special. Selena went home for the weekend (as only she can, because the rest of us are from overseas) but Thea and Susie loved on my like only family can. :) They are def. God picked friends for me. I was skyping my family Saturday morning for my birthday, and Susie and Thea both came and sat by me as I was talking to my whole family (ash came home for the night) and it was like we were all family. Stephanie messaged me later and was like “OH MY GOODNESS, I love them!! They’re so funny!! You guys are hilarious!” :) It’s true… these girls bring so much joy to my life, I couldn’t have even dreamed up our friendships. :) The 3 of us serve in the middle school ministry, FUEL, together on Friday nights. Fridays are a long day for all of us, because for anything at church, you always have to bump in and bump out. Each room is used for at least 3 things, so you always set up and pack down each time. So every Friday night, we set up and pack down before and after the night. It makes for a pretty long afternoon/evening at church. Well, Max had already gone home because he had to be up at 4 for work the next morning, so Thea and Susie took it upon themselves to start my birthday celebration ahead of time with the rest of the fuel team. I was upstairs by the windows that overlook the entrance to the church, talking to some other girls, when all I hear is my name being yelled. I thought I was crazy for a moment so I ignored it but kept hearing it… So I start looking around like “where the heck is that coming from? Who’s calling my name??” And I turn around and look down… and Thea and Susie have gotten me a cake with candles and everyone is on the steps outside of the church with sparklers lit, waiting for me to come down and sing happy birthday to me. I seriously felt like a princess!! It was so great!! :) Definitely one of those unforgettable moments! And ya know what?? It didn’t even take a boy (Max) to be present for me to feel like a princess!! It was the love of my two girlfriends that made me feel so special. I love how God does that… how He knows exactly what you need, when you need it, and who you need it from. He knows my battle with feeling accepted and loved isn’t from Max, but from friends, and ya know what?? He’s got me covered.
It’s been so interesting being back, because some things that I was dealing with when I left are still around and still being dealt with… but God’s doing something new. He’s loving on me in a different way, and it’s personal. I’m believing it’s more than just the rough and tough sorting through of self, but that I’m going to see fruit and goodness during this year, and I am.
I’ve been so challenged lately in my thoughts and my thinking, about people, life, situations, church (my whole life experience in church, not just a specific one), leaders, friends, relationships, and God’s just like… renew your self in me. Your mind… just sit with me. I promise you won’t be disappointed, and I haven’t believed him. All the hurts and frustrations that I’ve experienced, EVER, in my life, I associated with who God is to me. What it means He thinks about me, and how our relationship is… that I’m actually more than just disposable to my friends or to the church, but I’m disposable to God. When really… that’s what the enemy has fooled me into thinking. To associating people of God, with God, and God’s still separate. One of the staff pastors was preaching yesterday morning, and he said that a lot of us instead of following Jesus, follow and try to become like the leaders of our church, but God is bigger than our church leaders. He’s separate from the church. The church is His LOVE, but it’s not Him. It’s been SO INCREDIBLEY refreshing to sit back under the heart of this house. It’s so eye opening, and when the spirit is moving and is allowed to move, what God does. Last night in worship, I just felt like I couldn’t go anywhere, I couldn’t focus on anything, I couldn’t encounter God, until I got on my knees and laid it down, so I did. I fought it for a minute, I was like “Lord, can we just do this with me standing up” and He was persistent “just kneel before Me, lay it down” and I did. Oh my goodness, it didn’t matter what the person next to me was doing or how they were worshiping or what song it was. NOTHING ELSE AROUND ME mattered, because I was with Jesus. I was with the God who created me, and knows me more intimately than anyone else possibly could. I was with the Lord who has chased me and pursued me and loved me when I haven’t loved or trusted or sought after Him. He was there to meet with me.
It’s been ages since I felt that way, and it was so much more than anything I’ve ever felt before. Because God isn’t about keeping us in the same place or getting us back to where we came from, He’s about giving us more. More than what He’s given us before, meeting with us more than He has. It’s so overwhelming when He takes you to those deeper places for the first time. It’s actually like “How could I have done life without this??” Because He is life, and His desire is life for us. It’s actually amazing.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Ok, so here we go… again! CRAZY!!! For those of you who don’t know… I’m on a plane again… headed back to the land down under (Australia, for those of you still not sure where), because yet again it’s where I feel God’s told me to place myself. HOWEVER, while some of you might think you know what I’m doing… not everyone does. So, to update put everyone on the same page, I’m here in Sydney but I’m not going back to study at Hillsong for the time being. That might happen again, later, but for now, I’m going simply because the God I’ve asked to direct me in every decision of my life, has said “My grace is enough to cover any decision you make, wrong or right… you’re my child and I know your heart, and my grace covers your steps.” This is a new thing for me… making decisions based on the grace he’s extended to me and not on what He’s spoken to my heart. So, I’ll be working fulltime and taking online classes, working towards my bachelors. So weird… and I know some of you are scratching your heads thinking “How does that make any sense?” Well, I can ‘t tell you how it makes sense, because I don’t know how it does. But I do know God hasn’t called me to make sense of everything He asks me to do, He’s just asked me to obey. SO, that’s what I’m doing. :)
One thing I’ve ALWAYS adored about how God works is, in Psalm 37:4 it says “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Well, if you piece that scripture together with the rest of His word, delighting yourself in Him is so much more than simply saying “God, I find my joy and delight in You,” but it’s having your heart turned towards Him, on a daily basis. It’s making decisions based on who He’s called us as His children, to be. We’re to love as He loves, to serve as He serves, forgive as He forgives, show grace as He shows us grace, SHARE His love with others the way He’s shared it with us. Whether you think you do this or not, or think you’re terrible at any of them, God knows what it is we desire, and if what we desire is Him above all things, or want to want to desire Him (I hope that makes sense), all He wants us to do is seek after Him, and fall more and more in love with Him. If we’re doing THAT, it’s so funny to watch how all the other things seem to just happen. Not always without us noticing, not always in the most comfortable way, but they happen. In seeking Him, and wanting Him, and loving Him, He starts molding and shaping. SO… delighting (seeking, loving and wanting) in Him, He gives us the desires of our hearts… GUESS WHAT?? Delighting in Him means your desires become HIS desires. I love it… I kinda just beat around a large bush to get to my point, but it’s too great to not go in depth with. I love the fact that this basically tells us, delighting in Him makes us more like Him, because our Hearts become more like His, and He will give us what it is our Hearts desires, because they’re the SAME THINGS He desires. I think it’s beautiful.
It’s such an assuring thing for me, for Him to have said “I’ve got you covered in grace, so just decide” because I think, it means I’m becoming more like Him. Does that make sense? I hope you can see how the two fit together. I think it’s so neat and it’s him reassuring me, “Hey, I see you, I see what your sowing and what you want and I know your heart, so YOU decide this time, because I want for you, what you want.” Ha!! :) Just makes me smile. He’s a good God.
It was a much needed reassurance that HE does see me, and hears the cries of my heart, and still has a plan for me. It’s been a very inactive past year and a half as far as “things happening.” It ‘s been a very personally challenging, and foundation building time. LOVE those, don’t you? Ha! Talk about times where you feel like He’s not there… it’s been crazy. But ya’ll He SEES, and HEARS His children. He KNOWS where you seem to be “stuck “ but it’s exactly where He intentionally has you placed. I’m praying and believing that this season over here, will look different than last time. BUT, whatever it looks like, I know He’s working in me. As long as I can cling to the sometime illusive-seeming truth/promise, “I know the plans I have for you. They are PLANS FOR GOOD and NOT DISASTER, to give you a FUTURE and a HOPE,” Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT); “NEVER will I leave you, NEVER will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5 (NIV). Whatever the season is, prosperous, stormy, or sowing in what seems like a desert, He DOES see me, hear me, and still has plans for me. He knows my heart, knows what I long for, what I desire to see happen in my life and in the lives of others. My desire for this season, is that it’s glorifying to Him. No matter what my circumstances are, He still deserves my praise. He’s still holy, and worthy and to be glorified. That’s what I want.
Well, there you go, that’s my update. So we’re all on the same page about what this time is, it’s not “Hillsong” or anything else you could possibly title it, it’s my life. It’s just a season in the life of one individual who’s made a commitment to glorify God in my life. I’m privileged to be able to work it out with and for you guys. Updates won’t necessarily be about “life at Hillsong,” but just about what God’s doing in my life, where He just so happens to have taken me across the world. :)
I love you guys! I’m beyond blessed to be so supported in following the Lord. Thank you guys. :)
Rosa Michelle :)
Rosa Michelle :)
PS… I landed at 6 am Friday morning (Thursday afternoon in the states) and Max was gone to summer camp with the middle school kids when I got there… but I got to see him last night and it was SO good!!!! :) It was SO wonderful getting to hug him for real, a little bit weird… because it’s the voice/face I’ve been talking to for 6 months over the phone/skype… and instead of being eye level, on my screen, I had to look up and stand on my tip toes to hug him!! :) It was wonderful!! :) :)